DEAR MR. RUDENESS,
A VERY DEAR FRIEND OF MINE HAS HAD SOME VERY TERRIBLE CIRCUMSTANCES LATELY, AND
NOW SHE'S FEELING REALLY DEPRESSED.
FIRST HER FIANCE BROKE UP WITH HER AND LEFT
HER FOR SOMEONE ELSE, AND THEN SHE LOST HER JOB.
SHE LOVED BOTH HER FIANCE AND HER JOB FIERCELY. SHE WAS ALWAYS THE KIND OF PERSON
THAT HAD A SMILE ON HER FACE, AND WAS CHEERING UP OTHER PEOPLE WHEN THEY WERE SAD.
NOW SHE NEEDS TO BE CHEERED UP, AND I JUST DON'T HAVE THE WORDS.
I FEEL SO SAD FOR HER, AND I WISH I KNEW WHAT I COULD SAY TO HER THAT WOULD HELP
TO LIGHTEN THE BURDEN A LITTLE. DO YOU HAVE ANY SUGGESTIONS?
-SYMPATHETIC
DEAR SYMPATHETIC,
SADNESS AND DEPRESSION, AS WELL AS THE EVENTS THAT OFTEN PRECEED THEM, ARE ONE OF THE MORE UNFORTUNATE FACTS OF LIFE. IT'S HARD TO DEAL WITH THEM, AND IT'S HARD TO
WATCH PEOPLE THAT YOU CARE ABOUT GOING THROUGH THESE KINDS OF STRUGGLES. AND YES,
IT IS HARD TO KNOW WHAT TO SAY.
WHEN SOMEONE THAT I CARE ABOUT IS FEELING SAD OR DEPRESSED BECAUSE OF UNFORTUNATE
CIRCUMSTANCES SUCH AS THE ONES THAT YOU MENTIONED WITH YOUR FRIEND, I LIKE TO TAKE
THEM OUT TO COFFEE OR LUNCH. THEN I SIT THEM DOWN AND I LOOK THEM IN THE EYE AND
I SAY, "YOU KNOW, THEY SAY IT TAKES MORE MUSCLES TO FROWN THAN IT DOES TO SMILE.
AND I DON'T KNOW IF THAT'S TRUE OR NOT, BUT I DO KNOW THAT IT WOULDN'T TAKE MUCH
FOR ME TO REACH ACCROSS THIS TABLE AND SLAP YOU UPSIDE YOUR MOPEY, PATHETIC HEAD IF YOU DON'T SNAP OUT OF IT BECAUSE YOU'RE GETTING ON MY NERVES."
I DON'T KNOW IF IT CHEERS THEM UP OR NOT, BUT AT LEAST THEY STOP WHINING SO MUCH.
-MR. RUDENESS
DEAR MR. RUDENESS,
MY TEN-YEAR-OLD SON HAD A PET MOUSE THAT HE LOVED MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THE WORLD.
RECENTLY THE MOUSE MANAGED TO GET OUT OF HIS CAGE AND IS GONE MISSING. MY SON IS
JUST HEARTBROKEN. WHAT SHOULD I DO?
-SAD PARENT
DEAR SAD PARENT,
GET A CAT... THEY'RE GOOD AT HUNTING MICE. OR A SNAKE.
-MR. RUDENESS
DEAR MR. RUDENESS,
A WHILE BACK A GOOD FRIEND OF MINE WHO DESPERATELY NEEDED AN ANSWER FOR AN ISSUE
THAT HE WAS DEALING WITH WROTE TO YOU, HOPING TO FIND THE BREAKTHROUGH ANSWER THAT
HE SO DESPERATELY NEEDED. YOUR INSENSITIVE RESPONSE DEVESTATED HIM SO BADLY THAT
LAST WEEK, HE TOOK HIS OWN LIFE. DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?
-INDIGNANT
DEAR INDIGNANT,
I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE KILL THEMSELVES AFTER TALKING TO ME. THAT'S LIKE THE HUNDRETH
TIME THAT'S HAPPENED, AND I ALWAYS END UP GETTING BLAMED FOR IT! SHEESH!
-MR. RUDENESS
